day 55: fallout

today was a vast improvement on yesterday. i received a timely subscription email which reminded me to transform the negative to positive, to stop fighting things i can't control and to let go of thoughts and feelings which don't serve me and to move on. that really helped me loosen up a bit when the woman's oversized bag was bashing into me as she practically pole-danced on the tube and when the old woman pushed her way onto the train without letting people get off first etc. ok, so i haven't nailed it yet, but i've started on the road to resolution for the daily commute stress bundle.

i didn't mention in amongst everything else yesterday, but i've got permanent neck and shoulder strain from lugging bottles of juice to work and fruit and veg from the supermarket. i did go shopping on the way home tonight but deliberately bought less than i thought i could cope with so i didn't add to the shoulder ache. plus i got a real bargain in the health food store which cheered me up :)

at work i forced myself to delegate. i spent about half an hour pulling a bunch of info together and passed it on to my admin assistant who dealt with two fairly mammoth tasks successfully, so that saved me about 5 hours work. i know i should be doing this anyway, but i often feel like it would be quicker if i did it, rather than go through the process of explaining, tidying up my notes to pass on, then having to check his work later and make the final tweaks etc. but hey, i'm learning to let go...

i had a mashed avocado for dinner tonight, with lemon juice, flax seed oil, salt and pepper and some sunflower sprouts. i just crave fats. what's a girl to do? my skin's still dry. on my face my wrinkles are really showing round my eyes, despite the two sets of moisturiser i'm using morning and night, and on the rest of my body my skin is kind of, um, not sure how to describe it. 'old' springs to mind! i'm skin brushing and taking msm and i did find my skin was much softer after a few weeks, but now it seems thin and papery and screaming out for internal moisture.

YummyHubby and I made some plans to get me some rest and he seems to have taken on the task of getting me to get ready for bed earlier. every bit helps.

i've got a sore throat. that started yesterday and definitely contributed to my meltdown when i thought i was going to get ill. but it hasn't got any worse today, so i might yet overcome it without it turning into anything major.

and i'm still tired. but then i've got a lot of catching up to do after the extreme sleep deficit of the past month. but i do feel a lot better today and i'm no longer on the verge of a breakdown. hopefully each day that passes will help me walk a step away from the precipice.